Done with Detox

After three weeks of consuming all the celery I could possibly stomach, I am officially finished with detox! All in all, I may have gone just a touch loco in the process. I dunno, three weeks playing solitaire non-stop in what resembles some run-down motel room from a bad Sam Shepherd play. Overall, I received mixed results from the cleanse. It was a difficult process, not only mentally (disciplining myself to stay on a strict diet in the midst of chemo nausea), but physically: I became incredibly weak and fatigued, so much so that for the last nine days or so, I could barely muster the strength to get out of bed. It was hard to be away from my support system when I was feeling so sick, even though I managed to find a few good friends at the retreat to lift my spirits. I lost a significant amount of weight, not enough that I look emaciated (well, too much) but enough that it began to concern me. It seemed not matter how much I ate, the pounds kept dropping. So I was constantly confused, wondering if the fatigue I was experiencing was a result of my body cleaning itself out or if the exhaustion was brought on by not eating enough and losing too much weight. Probably both.

This Tuesday, when I went in to the hospital for chemo, my doctors voiced concern about my weight. In a time of low immunity in my body, where I’m more easily prone to illnesses of any kind, it’s important that I build up reserves. At any point over the next several years, if my body becomes sick, it’s going to need whatever it has to feed off of for strength and resilience. Additionally, my docs seemed really concerned that my blood sugar was alarmingly low, so much so that they almost hesitated to give me chemo before I could naturally boost it back up.

I’m frustrated. Surprised? I was really hoping that this cleanse would give me more energy and make me feel better. Instead, I feel like I back-tracked to a point of low energy I hadn’t experienced in months. Granted, there’s a distinct possibility that as I ease back into my normal diet, I’ll start seeing that surge of energy; I have, after all, been cleaning my body out intensely for almost a month. But I want to have this all figured out now: the perfect diet that will give me energy, build back my body’s strength, and keep my immune system high. Here I am, what feels like square one again. But I know much more now than I did three weeks ago. So it’s not square one. And it’s not the end of the equation. I’m experimenting, cautiously, and taking detailed notes. And sneaking the occasional brownie, or two.

Health Care

And now for something completely different…

This week finds me in sunny San Diego, enjoying a three-week stay in between chemo rounds at the Optimum Health Institute (OHI), a progressive raw foods health spa for some, a full system clean-out for me. The retreat was recommended to me by several friends from different parts of my life. When the same name comes up in different circles, I pay attention. I’ve been searching for a place where I could take a bit of time away from everything and sort through my emotional and spiritual journey. Equally as important is detoxifying my body. Granted, it’s controversial in the middle of chemotherapy. On the one hand, the purpose of chemo is to continually introduce toxic drugs into the body to kill off any rapid growing cancer cells that may still be lingering. On the other hand, the body is not fully equipped to clean out these toxins on its own. In most cases, they just sit there, collecting, eroding the now cancer-free body, making it a welcoming place for further health crises. OHI’s solution is fairly basic: get back to the cleanest food possible. The cleanse consists of a power-juice diet, heavy on the leafy greens, and lots of wheatgrass, an incredibly powerful detoxifying and replenishing substance. It has been difficult for me as the toxins are pulled into my blood stream and flushed out of my body. But after six days (and a return to solid, albeit raw foods) I feel better than I’ve felt in ages.

Accompanying the detoxifying diet are core classes in basic anatomy, digestion, toxic elimination in the body, nutrition and health. It’s a miracle for me, after spending a year becoming more intimately acquainted with my body than I ever anticipated being, to have access to such a wealth of information about caring for it. One of the most memorable lecturers, Dr. Andy, began his lecture by distinguishing between health care and disease care. Our country, he argued, is focused on disease care. We visit a doctor when we are sick. We describe symptoms and, for the most part, are subsequently given the red pill to cure this symptom, the blue pill to cure another, the green for yet another. True health care, he insisted, rests on the shoulders of the individual. It is a daily commitment to understanding the root of good health: diet, physical care, and positive attitude. Health care is proactive, not reactive. His words resonated with me. In essence, my commitment to come here for three weeks is a very personal commitment to my body and myself to begin taking my health into my own hands, rather than relying on a team of doctors to continue doing it for the rest of my life. If vitality is the end goal, health is the daily practice. Optimum diet and well-being becomes the ideal, with a firm knowledge of and respect to how close I am in proximity to that ideal every day. I’m witnessing first-hand what a miraculous self-healing machine the body is. How many things out there do it as perfectly? With this understanding, the question at hand becomes how to give that machine exactly what it needs in order to perform that healing best, both today and for the rest of its miraculous life.